Great Life Gifts

"The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting." Sun Tzu, The Art of War My co-worker Bobbie* refused to talk to me unless she absolutely had to, so I made a point every day to make sure she had to talk to me. We shared an office and I thought her tenacity in refusing to acknowledge me was inspiring. It wasn't that she was a quiet, reticent personality. Whenever a family member or friend came by the office she could chat cheerfully for 20 minutes at a time. So, as a challenge to myself, I made a point to always speak cheerfully to Bobbie and ask her how she was. She begrudgingly answered my cordialities but her demeanor made me think I had forced her to drink vinegar.  There were days, however, when I just couldn't be cheerful any more and I would try to play the game by her rules and not speak to her, either. Typically, I caved by the first morning break and asked "how are you doing, Bobbie?"  So, what did I do, you may ask, to ...

Have you ever wondered why your therapist behaves the way she does? Here are some possible reasons, based on their training and experience. (Please be warned that some answers may be humorous because laughing is good therapy.) Q. I've thought about going to mental health therapy. How do I know if I'm a good candidate. A. Take your pulse. Is it still beating? If yes, then you are a good candidate for therapy. But you're a more likely candidate if you have recently gone through a major life change, such as birth of a child, job change, death of a loved one. But all people can benefit from having an objective person who has unconditional positive regard for them in their lives.  Q.  No matter what I tell my therapist, she always looks at me with a neutral face. Doesn't she have any emotions? A. Your therapist has plenty of emotions and she manages her emotions in a professional way during your session, so you have a safe space to express yours. She maintains...

I've packed up  Howard Jones, Steve Winwood, Nanci Griffith, and Clint Black in the coffin of a cardboard box. And when the box arrives in Washington state, it will be opened and then their guts will be yanked out.   Their guts will be respectfully and consciously disposed of but their version of external skin will be recycled into new products, which if the owner is fortunate, will symbolize a period of their life like the original packaging of the cassette tapes did for me. Just so there's no mistake, I'm not Mother Earth's best friend. I'm a pretty typical fair weather American friend as far as my lifestyle and consumption use. If you're an avid recycler and saw what I threw in the trash, you would unfriend me on Facebook. This cardboard box filled with cassette tapes of a Beatles anthology, the Best of ZZ Top and a dive into international music represented by Bollywood and Rueben Blades and ready to be shipped to  GreenDisk,  has nothing to do with ...

Walking your dog every day is one of the best gifts you can give your canine friend and you. 1. It will clear you and  your best friend of mental and physical energy. But for the dog, it's important you be the pack leader. For tips on how to be the alpha dog on your walks check out this site: cesar's way. 2. You will have a special bonding time with your pet. Everyone needs a change of scenery and this is especially important for pets whose owners work during the day. If you work inside or from home, a change to outdoor scenery is good for you, too.The best time of day to walk your dog is in the morning, as they are diurnal, but your dog will enjoy moonlight strolls, too. Just make sure you both wear reflective material so motorists notice you. 3. If you have a working breed, such as a German Shepard or a Great Pyranees, you can put a dog backpack on it and fill it with water bottles you might need for yourself and your dog. 4. Use your walks as an opportunity to tra...

Author's note: If you are a parent who has concerns about your child's safety in face-to-face public school, then I encourage you to read this article about an alternative which may help ease fears of both you and your child. On a Friday morning at the start of the school year, my 14-year-old was swinging at the park rather than discussing the associative property of multiplication in his algebra class. I made no comment to him about his absence from class, in fact, I drove him to the park myself. For this year and maybe for the entire four of his high school career, my son may spend a lot of days outside rather than cooped up in an overcrowded classroom in an institutionalized setting. We aren't homeschooling. But he is attending public high school through business innovation which has figured out that some families want other options to deliver education to their kids. Across the country, hybrid and online models are on the rise both in public school districts a...

You know the feeling. You had a disagreement with another person and in your mind you forgave. You were able to forgive them because you ended your relationship with them. But did you really forgive them or did you just forget them? The answer to that question will be revealed next time you unexpectedly run into them in a location you weren't prepared for, such as your local grocery store. If your heart jumps and your stomach feels anxious, then the trauma of the conflict hasn't subsided and, frankly, you focused on the forgetting but not the forgiving. So what do you do when you come across THAT person? Here are some options, not all of them recommended.  1. Turn around and pretend you didn't see them. 2. Take your shopping cart and bang into the back of their legs pretending you didn't see them. 3. Walk by them as if they were invisible and pretend you didn't see them. or 4. See them. As uncomfortable as it is, facing THAT person is a response com...