Great Life Gifts

My spiritual director/psychotherapist always thought it was a moment for celebration when someone appeared at his doorway in their lowest moment. “When you hit bottom,” he would say, “then you can break open.” As difficult and harrowing the journey to the bottom can be, hitting an emotional bottom is a moment of celebration. When a series of unhealthy choices finally shove your ego off the cliff of a fantasy life, then you have a chance to break free and fully assess where you might go next. And at your most emotionally and mentally battered, you are more open to the belief that choices you can finally make on your own behalf will lead you to a pathway of peace and security. And once you hit the valley and the shell of a fantasy existence has cracked open, you will be able to soak in the oxygen of a world who wants you as you are.

Whatever role you play in life, you have the opportunity to be the reason others keep coming back. Keep coming back to: School; Work; Church; Home; or Hobbies. How can I do this?  It's not as complicated as you might think, even with the most difficult: Student, Colleague; Child; Parent; Client; Patient, or Boss. You decide and believe their presence makes a valuable difference, no matter how difficult or different they might be. Then you express it to them by telling them "thank you for coming." And mean it. And they will know you mean it but they may not smile at you the first time you say it because they might not believe it (because you might not believe it either the first time you say it). But if you say it every time with a sincere desire to want to believe it, they and you will eventually smile And their behavior won't seem so difficult to you.

You know the feeling. You had a disagreement with another person and in your mind you forgave. You were able to forgive them because you ended your relationship with them. But did you really forgive them or did you just forget them? The answer to that question will be revealed next time you unexpectedly run into them in a location you weren't prepared for, such as your local grocery store. If your heart jumps and your stomach feels anxious, then the trauma of the conflict hasn't subsided and, frankly, you focused on the forgetting but not the forgiving. So what do you do when you come across THAT person? Here are some options, not all of them recommended.  1. Turn around and pretend you didn't see them. 2. Take your shopping cart and bang into the back of their legs pretending you didn't see them. 3. Walk by them as if they were invisible and pretend you didn't see them. or 4. See them. As uncomfortable as it is, facing THAT person is a response com...