Who do you believe?

If all your friends decided to jump off a cliff would you go with them is a common refrain directed toward impulsive teenagers by their parents.

It's a valid question which is applicable far beyond the teenage years.

While it may be desirable to avoid a negative interaction it may not always be possible. So what can you do if you start to feel overwhelmed by the negative energy circling around the table like a vulture waiting to pick at the remains of any positive mental attitude?

Make a decision to find the participant who you perceive to be as the most positive of the bunch and focus on them.

While it is polite to share your eye contact with everyone in the room, if you're on the receiving end of a negative discussion, then do what's in your best interest both mentally and emotionally: focus on the positive.

Every group has a ring leader and it may be the head honcho is the most negative of the assemblage. If this is the case, make a decision to not engage with them. Instead, redirect your attention to the person at the table who brings the most positive interpretation of the situation at hand. If they tie their interpretation to a feasible solution even better. Then your job is to tease out the steps through encouraging questioning.

Make statements such as:

• That sounds like a good idea, please tell me more.
• What other ideas do you suggest? 
• How would you recommend implementing this?

It may be other people at the table have solutions also but because of their negative framework it's more challenging to be open to them. That's okay because as you reinforce the positive person, the others will adapt to engage your attention.

And if you keep with it long enough, you may discover the vulture has flown away.